It's the beginning of the end of our time in Budapest. Today, I said goodbye to my great friend Debra, the one person (aside from my boyz), who has been a beloved constant for the past two years. I really hate saying goodbye. I'm no good at it, face to face, feel awkward and a bit silly. Inevitably, the reality hits me after the fact and I have myself a good cry.
So I did that today, just a little while ago. After a teary purge I'm left feeling philosophical and this evening's rumination was about the transitory nature of damn near everything, how you can't live a static life and expect to actually live as opposed to merely existing. Pain comes with risk taking, especially when it comes to friendships. We take a risk, open up to a person, actually connect with them, begin to love them, and they become a true friend. When you hit the jackpot of a true, solid friendship, it's always worth the pain of leaving that friend one day or having that friend leave you.
The great friendship still exists even when the void of a person's absence seems capable of swallowing you whole. Each time I have left a place, I've cried from the pain of that void. It's good...it means I'm alive and capable of love. And the friendships are still there....all of those dear people I'm so happy to know and adore, they are still out there in the world and that alone makes me feel better.
If there's one life lesson that has been driven home during my time in Hungary, it has been that nothing lasts and that things change because they must. Static deadens and kills. It's best to brace oneself for for the pain that goes with the gain, learn to like it even.
The classic Jimi Hendrix tune filled my head during my latest bout with that pain. Its message is more Hungarian than American and it is oddly comforting. Brace yourself for the change, become friends with the pain because everything melts into the sea, eventually.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBmr97VIVQc
